WHEN I TRY TO STUDY
FIRST I’M LIKE:
BUT THEN I’M LIKE:
Friendship
Just some thoughts…
I’m starting to hate this term we call “friendship.” In the past couple weeks I have gone through the many negatives of this. Dishonesty, rumors, mistrust, insincerity, no support. Aren’t these supposed to be the basis of “friendship”?
At least for someone’s birthday, a “friend” should make the effort to celebrate their birthday right? If someone had planned them something special for their birthday, it would only be fitting that they return the favor somewhat? You can really tell someone’s dedication and care for a friend if they plan a surprise party for them.Whether it be for a birthday or moving away, etc, especially if they go through the effort of calling up people with a million texts/calls, keeping it a secret, and funding the food/location/presents. Sometimes I wish someone would do that for me…I would never ask for it, otherwise it wouldn’t even be a surprise, but I would just want one to see if other people care for me the same way.
I doubt if I even have “friends.” I would want someone to have my back unconditionally, but if you couldn’t even do that 3 years ago, how can I trust that you do now? It’s not about the ones who act true to your face. It’s about the ones who remain true behind your back. If there’s only one friend that’s like that, then I would only want that one true friend to all the millions of fake ones I could have.
“you are who you associate with
look around at your five closest friends
and that’s who you are
if you don’t want to be that person
you know what you got to do”
-association, nas
i don’t want to surround myself with people like you.
It’s not high school anymore!
I’ve been holding in my anger for a really long time now and I just want to let it out somewhere where I can vent but not make it such a huge deal for too many people.
I used to be friends with this girl since elementary school, and we got even closer in sixth grade. But somewhere along the road, she just stopped talking to me. And she got everyone else to alienate me too. I didn’t understand why. She got people to tease me, throw itching powder down my back, send fake Valentine’s cards to people under my name causing hurt to me and the other person. You turned everybody on me one by one. I felt pathetic trying to be your friend. In high school you started talking to me again, but only until you took my friends once more. And then you alienated me. You never looked at me when you replied your one word answers to my questions. In senior year, I guess you started warming up to me again and freshman year of college it seemed like we were getting back to being friends. But once again, you stopped talking to me. I think now, it’s because I tried to ask you about what happened, just to understand why you ditched me in 7th grade, but you were running away from it like a coward. Why won’t you tell me why? Are you ashamed? You will never know how lonely and out of place I felt. SHAWQ UNLMTD? I still remember it. I never felt so left out.
You judged me when I got drunk at a party. Well look who’s the hypocrite now. I won’t say what you did and are still doing, but it makes drinking alcohol look like child’s play.
I’m not going to lie and say I don’t care you’re excluding me from hanging out with my friends. But I’m not going to let history repeat itself again. I’m not going to lose my friends to you again. I’m sure one day, they’re going to grow tired of your “poop” comments and your childish acts. I want to thank you, though, for helping me see who my real friends are. It’s okay, you can have them. If one day you do decide to talk to me again, I won’t be petty. But I can’t forget what you did to me and how much you made me suffer. GROW UP and be mature.
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
My grandma. I regret not having built a closer relationship with her before. I wanted to go back this past summer with my mom and help take care of her and get to know her, but she passed away before I could.
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
I definitely would like to get to know a lot of my friends more. I have a lot of shallow relationships where we’ll just hang out when others hang out or only talk about small everyday things. (Though I do have a handful of best friends that are on a deeper level). It might be hard for me to open up so fast, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to become any closer than we are. I notice I don’t talk as much to some people in my arch classes, though I so badly want to… And there’s one specific person I think ALL my friends know who that I really wish I could talk to without sounding like a blundering idiot. 15 years… anyway… that’s it!
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
There are sooo many people I wish I could meet. Mostly famous people…k…more like kpop stars….k that’s a lie, more like cute kpop idol boys. anyway, but the people I want to meet the most are people closer to home. I realized the mistakes I have made in the past, some they have made, but lately i realize just how much I miss them and wish I could have them back in my life. no drama. just laughs. sometimes i wish i could turn back the clock to a time when we were all happy, but technically i’d have to turn it back to elementary school cuz that’s the only time things were simple. but getting down to it, i wish i could the girl who drove me crazy up the wall with drama and stubbornness but always made me laugh with our good times and memories. I wish I could meet someone who was a big part of my life until he did something so unforgivable. I wish I could meet all my family, extended and all, in one place at one time without any fights or wars over money. Is that too selfish?
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Seeing as how I got so behind on this challenge thing, Ima get ahead cuz Ima be busy the next couple days. Finals… :/
Seeing as how I’ve never had a bf….or a gf…..
I have ex-loved chemistry, calculus, exercising, eating veggies (except for bean sprouts and cucumbers. yuuum :3), hot glue guns (only arch students will understand why), and eating out on the ave every day for 2 weeks.
ex-crush…es….nuff said.
cuuuute :3 I want to try making things like this sometime…
